What is a friend and how do you know one


You ever read the blog SheKnows? It sometimes has some really great information and advice. Well today I found an article on friends that I thought was nice. But the one that caught my eye was another one: http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/848439/the-bff-brigade-top-4-friends-every-girl-needs called The Top 4 Friends Every Girl Needs. I think we all got to read this one male or female. Because it is true about the people you surround yourself with and how your life evolves from that moment into your future.

Another article is: http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/823519/5-rules-for-investing-in-your-friendships 5 Rules for Investing in Your Friendships. This is good because we all need to have friends. When I started college my goal was to gain friends I would have for the rest of my life. As it turned out it didn’t work out like that. However, I did learn a lot about myself and where I wanted to be at the end of my life. And what I wanted out of the friendships that I still had. I learned to cut off the friends I thought weren’t in my best interest. I learned how to have a conversation with the friends that I had. You may not understand so I will share. I used to have what I call repeat conversations with some friends. We would always talk about some things. And I didn’t like that anymore. So I had cut off the friendship actually not for that reason but because he thought I was using him. And I didn’t like that accusation at all. And then we started talking again. But by then I had had an epiphany. That epiphany was twofold. One was that people don’t really care as long as you don’t mess up their lives. You do you and they do them. If they can help you out they will not begrudge helping you but they will not withhold it unless you are a problem for them. And the restful feeling that came from that brought me a new perspective on my life and what was wrong with it. I started looking at what people saw as my problems and realizing that if I didn’t see myself like that but you and everyone else did then there had to be truth to that. A truth that I didn’t want to face and felt that you were against me and going to destroy who I wanted to be. And then I learned to deal.

This led me to being able to actually have a conversation about something like sports and actually being able to follow it. Cuz if you want to know the truth- lip mover. Don’t know anything about sports except the names of the team. What happened? Whoosh! Right over my head. How did I do that? Cold Pizza. Great Show. What is it now? I think its First Take. My first truly understood conversation- what else-baseball Americas sport. Figure that out. Anyway, then my conversations stopped being repeats because I learned silence is not a bad thing. If you have nothing to say then say nothing. Some people hate small talk. I am QUEEN of small talk. What did I have to learn? Not to do small talk. Do you know how hard it is to not do small talk? I mean seriously, weather, music, friends, dating, clothes, houses,-with no real intention or point- small talk. Point- well we can go to the store to buy things for the beach house that we are renting for the summer. This is a list. And then talk about the list. Talk about the furniture. Talk about how we are going to pay for it. Talk about inviting guests over. Talk about how long to stay. Talk about how to pay. That is a conversation with no small talk. But most important it has to be a shared conversation.

And the people you have it with will be the core four that they mention here.

http://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/815798/5-steps-to-a-healthy-social-life-1 5 Steps to a Healthy Social Life. What question do we always get-when do you go out with your friends? Do you have sex? Don’t you miss sex? Do you have a boyfriend? What’s wrong with you? Well what if it is just that the person isn’t the type to be the life of the party but has a full life anyway. Goes out with their friends, goes to the movies alone, goes shopping with family, goes to the beach with family and friends, goes to visit family, works during the day and parties at night- why is that not a life? So okay they don’t actually have a boyfriend. But they have friends with whom they talk with and go out with. They could have friends of the opposite sex that they spend the night over their houses. But they could also like someone who is unavailable in which case they have to look elsewhere. But this article does give you good ideas. Some I followed. I have joined a couple of book clubs that didn’t work out; disappointed I was but I didn’t stop trying. I am involved in others but due to finances can’t really participate. But I am hoping to change that in the coming years. It suggests volunteer, and learning the art of small talk. But what I used to do after work was go to happy hour. And a co-worker of mine and I would do that. Have a couple of drinks and then go home. But as I have gotten older, I think I would be better company now then I was then. A little older. Different talker. More realistic and realist. I think he might have a better time now. And I am truly sorry to tell you folks it isn’t all sex and the city. Not every single gal goes out every night with a different guy and has sex every night. I hate to share, girls I reveal no names but the one question that got me at a party was so how often you having sex now- once a month. She goes yeah me too. I’m looking at them going- um hello- not really know you. But interesting to know. We think that you are in a relationship and like people say you are having sex all the time. They are like they are lucky to get it once a month or more. So I do apologize girls but you fit the comment they made in the article and give the rest of us hope you know. That life is good and it can be.

http://www.sheknows.com/living/articles/818065/Girls-night-out-guide Girls Night Out Guide which helps you in determining what is a girl’s night out for you and your gal pals. It gives good suggestions on where to go and how to delegate. http://www.sheknows.com/how-to/articles/817978/Tips-to-scheduling-a-girls-night-and-sticking-with-it Tips to Scheduling a Girls Night and Sticking with It. This will help you and all of us when planning. Too many times have I tried to schedule events only to have them fall through at the last minute because the people I invited couldn’t come to the event. Knowing that they had to come but no phone call to say they couldn’t come. It wasn’t very nice you know. I hated it. And then I found and find myself doing the same things to people. So a goal of mine has been and will continue to be not to do it to them.

So I suggest that you guys and gals when you are looking for something to read and you happen to have a computer handy then go to www.sheknows.com and read. It has good articles. It has opportunities to win and to save. And also opportunities to get a job. Like I said, stop on by.

2 thoughts on “What is a friend and how do you know one

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