Keeping In Touch With Myself


What is your life worth? A discussion of the mind, schooling, body, sex, attitude, anger, ignorance and antipathy (apathy).  Repeat after me-My life is worth something and everything including showing myself I am better than me last year.  You know why you don’t figure into it?  Because you aren’t who I should worry about unless I am in trouble with you or you are in trouble with me.  No that isn’t it. It goes back to my Aha! Moment. People just don’t give two shits about you unless your life effects their own. So don’t think that I don’t care because I do.  I will never tell you that I don’t care. (But sometimes you might think it and if I get angry enough I might tell you that I don’t care about a particular situation but I try not to and will not tell you I don’t care about you.)  Because what happens to you effects me. And as such it helps me out to help you out. When you break it down like that it makes me sound like a selfish right.  Well guess what you a selfish person too.  And any of you all better not believe otherwise.   

 

So as to those who say well we aren’t like that, we are. And I am not ashamed to say that. It is harsh. It is truth.  Don’t hide from it.  Don’t bury it.  Despite the fact that we read the newspapers and we watch the news on television- do you really care? I mean really? They are in Zimbabwe and we are in USA.  They are in Tanzania and we are in USA.  Do you care? I know this seems harsh but I am saying this to explain to you what comes after.

 

I had another epiphany. Yes, that’s right.  Another epiphany.  The epiphany is this:  I am a person who has screwed up my life. I am a person who has had many opportunities. But what I refuse to do is spit out her [his] words like I was a computer.  NO!  I am a thinking person.  And no I probably don’t like your ass either.  So if you have a problem with what I say or do or write- stick it.   I have people who like what I do. And I have people who criticize what I do.  And if you can’t seem to deal with that, go your own way.  And the next time you think that you are a PC (politically correct, personal computer, personal contractor. whatever) please re-think that assessment.  We, and I seriously mean this, we really don’t care.  You, in the grand scheme of things don’t matter. So please don’t try and act like me or think that I act like you even if it seems that we do. Because the honest truth is if I am older than you are imitating me (or we are similar personalities and not the same person) and not the other way around.  But that doesn’t mean it isn’t flattering at times.  Very few times.  Hint hint!!!

 

Marriage-hmm, I have been asked more than once. I fantasize that the proposal at the beach that had my nick name on it was for me.  Reality check folks- um No! But hey, it was a nice thought.  I peeked in the window and didn’t see anybody there. Oh my God I am not supposed to admit that to you.  Juvenile huh? Incorrect use of terminology.  How about, makes no sense, revolves around in circles- all together says nothing but diatribe.  What is it? Not worth my time.  Well I told you that you would say that. And you wouldn’t care about what you read.  It wouldn’t be worth your time. So don’t be sore at me because I told you like it was.

 

June 4, 2010

Hi.  Today has started off to be a horrible day.  I won’t tell you what happened.  Suffice it to say as I said before I screwed up and it doesn’t look like it will get better.  And I do not want to ask a man that I know for help.  Because despite the fact that I have known him as an acquaintance/friend I still have issues of trust and he has always been there for me.  But I don’t know that he will be here now. I think he has had it up to his forehead and to the sky with me.  (Note:  for those in the know you know what it means.)  But I have to ask later on. For personal reasons. I am not going to tell my business. LOL!  I do that enough at the not top of my lungs and at the top of my lungs via cell phone, radio or telephone.  It doesn’t help me much.  So I can’t say much.  Anymore.  Take a vow of silence until I speak with someone directly.   That chapter in the book How To Be  I need to copy it and put it somewhere.  Anyway, I don’t know about later on tonight or tomorrow. I don’t know where I will be and I am not going to be dramatic about it.  Know why?  Because I hate people being on display including myself.  And I don’t want to be on the internet either. Unless of course it was under my terms.  But no, I have decided it might be better to cold turkey it. Yet, someone gave me an idea for a pod cast that might make some money. You never know. 

 

I found two new newspapers.  The first is  The Jewish State and Investor’s Business Daily. One I can keep the other I have to leave.  See what you find at your local neighborhood library.   And I found a magazine called Out.  I think it’s for the gay community.  Another one is Pulse which is about music.  And no the internet boots up nicely right now.  The problem is once you are in a public internet room; your computer is always sort of public.  Does that make sense?  For those in the know. 

 

For those in the know, I know I am not attractive. I complain and I yell and I am a procrastinator and have my lazy moments. As with most people I have had problems working.  I had a job and then I didn’t for the last couple of years.  I am trying to write and have been discouraged. One guy said to not even try. He said to forget about it and go to a different career.  Idiot me. I am still trying it because I think I am good at it.  My problem, people make you feel like a computer because your ideas are similar.  And one person even went so far as to suggest that it was a plagiaristic article for someone that was written. (Of course then you read the article about the student in Germany who thought it was a homage to plagiarize an article in her paper.)  I don’t know if it was.  But I was interested to find out about it. I had planned to ask but I don’t know that I will be able to ask now.  Truth to be told I had some instances of plagiarism and caught them. I acknowledged them in my blog. But I don’t believe they are all corrected yet.  They will be. Lol! I am learning. Electronic plagiarism, who would have thought. You should read the legalese on it. Even I go cross eyed.  It’s horrible.  So…  I have to continue this later.  I am unable to finish now.  Have to leave before I overstay my welcome.  Chat ya laterz.

 

June 5, 2010

 

So I turned on the sound on my laptop.  Why is this important? Cuz I don’t like sound much.  I tend to leave it muted.  But I listen to podcasts and I turn it up for that. It’s just that I have a lot of podcasts and it’s gonna take less time if I don’t have to unmute it. I just hate to shut down my laptop now.   So okay I found three new magazines that I put down hoping you might be interested.  I also found a couple of new websites and I found out that www.niquehappy.com  domain has expired.  She has to reinstate it within a certain time frame before they give out her domain name to someone else if they want it. So to whomever it is that writes that blog, times a wasting.

 

Also I want to discuss a topic which I am very vocal about if you didn’t know.  When we write, people tend to have similar ideas.   If you are like me you are paranoid that someone else is going to take your work, copyright it and sell it for money and profit.  I live in fear.  But that is something that we have to get used too.  Also don’t write where people can see what it is you are writing.  That includes the internet because then people will or may steal your ideas.  The only thing is if it is in public view like that chances are they can’t read what you are writing unless they are inside your house somehow.  Or tapped into your laptop.  Did you know that when you boot up at your public library this message pops up on your laptop:  warning you are using the same I.P.  address as the library.  That happened to me this past Friday.  I don’t believe you should boot up there often.  But I am sure it says that with everyone.

 

So okay I am a fan of this website called Blackstories. It is like Fanstory.  You can download stories for free and then leave a review.  The first story I read was Office Grapevine by Teresa Patterson.  I liked it.  I can’t give you the link but I can give you the website.  It is www.blackstories.com

 

For those in the know: elections for mayor and the town are on Tuesday.  We have a mixed ballot and you guessed it an all black ballot.  But remember whoever you vote for; pick the one that will serve you the best and the one that you think will be better for the town.  All have spoken. They have left their messages and their platforms for you to read and review or have spoken to you personally.  We hope that you take this opportunity to become a part of the solution for the town and not the problem.  Okay guys. I wait to tell you the results after Tuesday.

 

For those in the know:  I realize that some of you if not a lot of you think I have nothing to say worth hearing and that I am not worth your time but I wanted to take this opportunity to let you in on something happening right in your area:  a lot of new authors, singers, and dancers are around you.  We have a lot of talent here right in this very town. Please do not make them feel that they aren’t able to at least cultivate it until they decide they don’t want to any longer.

 

So as I have now one huge run-on sentence- Not- I have someone calling and I really must run.

 

Chat ya laterz.

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 
   
 
 
 
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