Question A


Hi.  To the young wo/man who wrote the comment I wanted to say “Thank you” for sending it to me.  I have no idea if anyone is reading this or not so the fact that you sent that means a lot to me.  I hope you didn’t think what I wrote to be condescending or trying to say that I know everything because I don’t.  I don’t know anything unless you tell me that what I believe is true or not meaning if I say something that isn’t true and you correct me then I know.  And I learned a lot from reading those websites that I put in there. So this is to say thank you.
You are like what the h— are you talking about?  Well I will say this to you:  I have had problems with people and my name.  Mostly because I hear it alot.  I think they are trying to talk to me to discuss something but I hear it and don’t know where they are.  It bothers me so I figure the thing to do is to find them and then get a new name to save myself embarrassment and the other party involved.
This morning I heard this guy tell another lady that he didn’t ask to marry her.  So I said then go marry your ex-girlfriend or not get married it is up to you but don’t tell the whole world your personal problem. I am adding some of this.  I think they speak in code and I am hoping today to finally get the code explained to me. Some of it is self explanatory but to them they always try and change the meaning.  I don’t get that at all.  How do you change this meaning:  I am not interested in  you and I don’t want to know who you are.  I don’t want to see you or talk to you. If that isn’t self explanatory then I don’t know what is?  I also think that attitude is totally wrong if the life you are impacting is not going to be better for it either. But I am not a relationship doctor or expert most of my information comes second hand and the rest is from experience. Which is mostly on the friend meter.  I am normally the FRIEND.  One day I hope to be the wife as a co-worker’s wife said.
I saw a nice name yesterday on the chat room. ** Note:  I do not normally mention names of people but I happen to like these names and their spellings.  I am not trying to in any way get someone in trouble or have them mad at me.**  It was Ieysia but I normally see it as Aisha or Iesha.  I don’t know anyone who spells it that way.  I also saw another name Brooke Gooche.  I didn’t like that name but I think it is that lady’s sign on name.   I don’t know when she signs on but I can find out through someone.  I just felt like chatting.  Most of the people I went to school with are non-incommunicado.  Like entirely.  I don’t know where they are.
The name I use is probably going to be known soon. I have changed my sign on in the chat room.  I think I will keep the new one for future use.  It is nice.  So hey look  I got a new sign on name in the chat room.  But just so you know, I might change it.  But shout out to Brooke Gooche.  If that is your sign on.  I was looking to see if you were someone sister knew back in college.  I wanted to touch base with you as you had information regarding something I liked and to see if you were married to your boyfriend yet.  Sister and I are talking off and on. She is very busy.
 My cell phone number that I turned off is still busy.  I am beginning to think someone uses it and by God they talk a hell of a lot more than I do.  They are always on the telephone.  But hopefully, I will have a new cellular number soon if I can’t get the old one.  I think however, I would have lost all of my contacts so I have to look them up and touch base again.  Hopefully, I haven’t offended all of ya’ll.   I hope to speak to you soon via normal cell phone or telephone or face to face meetings.  You ask why I say that?  You have No Idea do you?!
 Time’s a-wasting guys.  I really am in need of a person to help me protect myself. They keep trying to say that I am taking something else from someone meaning work wise and I am not.  It is my own ideas.  Why they can’t see that I don’t know.   Maybe I am just really paranoid that no one and I mean no one will think I have talent and can write.  That is paranoia right?
I am reading stories from a website called http://anotherealm.com/.  They are people writing fiction stories. The one that I am recommending in the Reader’s Corner
is “Merely Players”.  I thought of doing another one but I didn’t.  I like reading this website.  I have a lot because I am beginning a career in writing and I am taking it slow.  Although I have been published I would like to continue to be published and I don’t want to be blackballed or anything.
I don’t like to be embarrassed and I am all the time.  I have decided it is for the following reasons:  not enough knowledge, not enough people to talk to who know what is going on and people deliberately trying to embarrass me knowing full well they are not going to help me out or that I am not interested in them for any  other reason than friendship.  And they and everyone else take it to the extreme that it is more than that and I wanted to say it isn’t the right thing to do.
AS you know I am the PEANUT GALLERY.  What that means is I put my two cents in where it isn’t needed at times. I don’t do it all of the time but I do it some of the time.  Anyway, the reason I am telling you I am the PEANUT GALLERY is because I overheard a conversation or actually I was listening to television and they were doing a news television show.  The show was on modeling.  And I had read over a year ago that in Europe the modelling community now has a weight restriction. This is to avoid younger models and older models from looking sick and emaciated and to avoid hospital stays.  To make sure they stay healthy.  You hear stories about women getting sick and having anemia. I thought of modeling.  Even had a photographer ask me if I wanted to take pictures.  Between the ages of 29-35.  I must have been doing something right for some man to ask me the ugliest person in the school who had pictures drawn about then behind their back by another student, who had braces, acne and a loner to model.  Now if you were to see me now it is a totally different story.  So where did I go wrong huh?  What the hell did I fuck up besides my life huh?  Maybe, a woman got jealous.  Maybe a man got jealous.  Maybe I ate the wrong food.  Maybe all of the above just mentioned.  Maybe the government had a batch of bad food. Maybe they were trying to commit testing and got the food all screwed up.  Maybe all of the above.  Maybe I was just depressed or not eating. Maybe I wasn’t considered worth anything.  Maybe I wasn’t for you to think of me as a worthwhile human being.  Now I am hoping to get back to where I was with a healthy weight, a nice body, a good friendship building and a good, solid relationship with a man (sorry for changing it not to be sexist but I like writing that better than someone) who cares for me.  Although I hear if you are a real woman then we have to explain nothing.  I beg to differ.  Whether or not you are a real woman or man you have to explain to the other person what you think because they can’t read your mind.  It is an impossiblity.
Okay I am not going to bitch.  I am upset about nothing today.  The goal is to find out information which means to get off of my behind and go talk to someone.
I need girlfriends and guy friends.  I am making no distinctions between dating them and friendship right now because I need friends period. I am hoping to get some and make more.  I am hoping that this guy I like and think a lot of will have some time for friendship.  I think he is a lot busier than I am though.  Even when I was working he was a lot busier than I was.
One man I know was joking and saying you might go overseas.  I don’t see it happening but you never know.  It could. I doubt it. Unless of course I get suprised.  And then I can site see and go out at night and maybe work a little.  See the world.  You never know.   I have the shakes.  I hate that.
I will check back with you later.
Okay it is 12:00 noon and I am back in the blog.  I am waiting for the clothes to be done so I can get dressed and washed.  I might have a friend I think. I am hoping to start something with a guy I know about.  I started to say I met him and the truth is I might have but I don’t remember. I hope to arrange a meeting.  I’ll let you know what happens.
So I emailed  some of the people that gave me their emails. I figure they are probably all in either relationships or looking for friends.  You are like why would I assume that?  Because that is who I meet.  I don’t meet single guys.  I haven’t met them very often.  I meet more single women then man. And lately I meet married women and single men.
So I hope to re-start my sex life.  I started it and then it stopped, cold.  And I mean cold and completely entirely.  I won’t tell you about it.  It isn’t any of your business but I just wanted I guess to share that. I read all the blogs people have about their sex lives and their loves and lost loves.  I won’t share that with you but I might share a little. Who knows, in the new blog you might get GOOD NEWS!  !LOL! !  I do have a good imagination. My favorite is the scarves!  But it is just a fantasy.  4 or 5 of them.  And a blindfold.  You figure out the rest on your own.
You know the saying “the truth hurts”  well the truth is I am not by any means going to be a femme fatale. They keep trying to say you don’t know who you are and you aren’t who you think you are.  We keep trying to say that to you in every way.  But the truth is they do not know me.  And when they do they may not like me. Since they don’t like me right now, I don’t know that is much of a difference.  I would hope they like me a little.  But I don’t forsee that happening.
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, anywaysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss, I will check back with you later.  I have to fold clothes now.
One more thing and I then I go fold the clothes:  I don’t know how other people are living.  I only know how I am living.  So I can’t speak for them.  I know that I complain the most.  So hopefully, it won’t be a bad thing and I won’t complain so much.
Heads up  I am on my way out and will check back with you later.  I should have lots more to say by then.  K? K!
Good evening.  Hope all is well with you. Told you I would be back.  I am going to close this out soon.  I now how high definition television.  Isn’t that sooooooooooooo kewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwl!  Ok so maybe not. I am just saying, I haven’t had it the whole time.  So, in order to close this out I thought I would share this with you:
I am reading blogs which are written by women and men of different religions. And today I found a new blog, non-religious in nature.  I thought I would give you the site:  http://pinknic-uk.blogspot.com/.  This is a link from the blog Dating Without Pants.  The other link I thought you might like is:  http://mytelephonebooth.blogspot.com/.   I read some and browsed the rest.  It was interesting.  You might like them.
So in closing I wanted to share this with you:  it is an excerpt from the book called  Dealing With People You Can’t Stand:  How Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst by Dr. Rick Brinkman &Dr. Rick Kirschner.  The name of the chapter is Chapter 7 Speak to be Understood part of the book is a section called “Tell Your Truth” found on page 59.  It states the following and I quote:
Honesty can be effective no matter what difficult behaviour a person engages in, if you tell your truth in a way that builds someone up rather than tearing them down.   The more trust you have with a person, the more likely it is that ….

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P.S.  on a  note kind of related to what I am talking about.  We are all cruel to each other. Sometimes we are crueler than we need to be.  For instance, we try and help people out and get in trouble.  Or they think we have motives or that we are out to destroy their good name or mistake their intentions.  We do not know what they have or haven’t done.  You have probably seen or heard this before by someone else.  So you may not think it original. And maybe it isn’t but it is the way I think.  So take it with a grain of salt but at least think about the idea that we need to listen to what people are saying or doing.  And make our own decisions.

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