GodDamn It!

November 3, 2008 Hello.  I’m back.  I am going to give out the bad news first.    The lady I worked with said she could tell me that they had a problem with the phone answering.  I think they had a problem with everything.  I don’t want to be on camera or anything. I am going to go back to the attorneys office and see if they need help.  It would be out of office.  I have to give in my work information.  I do not know if I am going to be working for them. Since he let me go I don’t believe they will give me another assignment. However, I don’t know that.  But he complained to everyone.  By everyone, I mean the lady I worked with, his father and his friend or something or other.  I had a problem with the other guy as well the g guy.  The other guy made just as nasty comments.  But she specifically mentioned him-a. I didn’t want to give out names until I had talked face to face.  I did want to go home but only because I got their early and wanted to go home.  I don’t have a problem dealing with nasty people. I tend to ignore them until they piss me off.  But that doesn’t help me with my paycheck.  I didn’t want to talk to him until the end of the assignment. And then I could touch base with her too.  I don’t know the etiquette here. I think most people would have been like girl, don’t let him beat your a–.  You tell that him exactly what you think of him and his treatment and you walk out the door.  A problem they had today was with a client who had called about an assignment.  That wasn’t listed on the schedule that I had.  And I had tried to reach the guy. BUt he didn’t answer the phone. And then the other lady reached him and he got to another place of work.  Then the boss called and wanted to know what happened.  And then they said they spoke to him.  But when he called back he said he hadn’t.  I don’t know what they did or what had gotten resolved. I got told two different stories.  And I think that is wrong.  (You know I don’t believe that my sister, brother or mother would have taken that.  I don’t know that my mother would have worked there.  I needed the money to start off.  Now excuse me, I am back to square one.)
I think that man should not work with people unless his father has a tight ass reign on him and his mouth. He doesn’t seem to be a good talker.  But him and the other lady seem to have a good relationship.  Although truth be told, if she speaks to the other guy out of the office,  they are only work friends and she watches her back the whole time.  For instance, you don’t know how to talk to people and you have got to know that.  You talk underneath your breath and you don’t talk to the employee.    I talk underneath my breath. I talk out loud. When I was done I would have talked with the woman who states I was hired for the position and said In fact, I think the two ladies who you interviewed might work out if you treat them right.  Or is it that you don’t like working with women?  Maybe it is that you felt people were bother by you being gay? I really don’t know what it was.  I actually have gay friends so I don’t know what your problem was.  I really don’t have a damn clue.  Except that from the moment I walked throught the door here are your comments:  You can’t be that gay.  You are not who you say you are. (Not sure who was on the phone though) Whatever.  You are a stupid b ( I don’t know if you said that or not.  I think you said something else) I think that you have a serious problem in communication.  I think you need to learn how to address women in particular.  You need to know how to address men too.  The two people who quit? Why did they quit? Was it they didn’t like the job?  Was it they didn’t like how you treated them?  I found out one went out on maternity leave and then got let go.  You could actually have a problem with that you know.  The other I don’t know.  I don’t have the right to judge your lifestyle but I don’t want to have to deal with you and your company.  I think if your father thinks you are good with your job then that is all the thought you need. 
When I didn’t have much to do I read a book or read the newspaper online.  I wonder if he would have had a problem with that.  Probably.   
 I was late I think twice last week.  I think it was five minutes and then a half hour.  And then they let the office out early each Friday and then twice during the week.  If they say anything about that, it is their policy.  He can’t have a problem with that.   So I know I am not supposed to be late.  I am learning that you can’t come in early either. But that wasn’t intentional.  They actually called the boss about that.  I didn’t think that would be a problem considering they are not being charged with anything for money.  Apparently it is.  My phone manner was okay.  I ate within the lunch hour.  I didn’t have a nasty thing to say to him.  Now if he thinks that I did then he would have had to have been listening where he shouldn’t have been.  I had a neat desk.  I had a neat computer except for the coffee spill.  The only problem as I see it were three things:  phone; And time. Although I fixed it.  I still think that the problem of being early is not a reason enough to call the boss about.  You are not being charged.  I had my coffee and waited to start work. What is the problem with that? But as my mother said, you didn’t want me to be there an hour earlier.   But you know, they said it would happen.  He wasn’t going to have me there after Monday. I didn’t actually think it would happen because he didn’t say it to me directly. (I mean, if you are going to fire someone, don’t you think you should tell them that directly?  What I did appreciate was that she called and told me that I didn’t have a job and gave me that much respect so as to not be embarassed the next day. While it doesn’t help me at my current situation much, I at least got that much respect. Although if he could have done it differently, I think he would have.  He doesn’t have much respect for people it seems in general.  And not just all people, just certain types of people.)   It was said by someone not in the office and the whole world will have heard it.  (added Nov. 5th) So hopefully, I can still get assignments.  I don’t know if they will risk it.  If he truly did call every day and complain, if not to her then to his father he may have given a very bad report.
I had my mistakes.  On time is a problem.  But I get there late. So early is better for me.  Just not an hour earlier.  The lady asked me today was I happy there. What does that have to do with me doing my job?  Yes it helps you but it doesn’t help you that much.  I think they ask you to make sure they can give you a similar assignment. She mentioned a and not somoene else.  That makes me think that he complained the whole time.  What the hell? I think he has a problem.  And he should deal with it.  I have never met the man before now.  I wouldn’t know him out on the street.  He does remind me of d though.  I didn’t know him then.  So he really has a problem.  I need to work.  I can’t deal with stuff like that.  I am professional and I will not talk out of turn to you but you can be rest assured that when I get home all the shit is dished to someone if I feel the need.  And you don’t have the right to know about that.   The worst thing for them was the name thing I think.  If I said companies or associates, didn’t matter.  problem.  I personally think they just didn’t want me there.  So why did you hire me in the first place sight unseen? Cause I was told I didn’t have to interview.  And if you had a problem which I think that you did, then next time, tell her you want an interview. I think despite the fact that she has a long relationship with you, I think you should go somewhere else.  That is just my personal opinon.  Doesn’t matter two cents but for what it is worth- you really should consider it whole heartedly.  Because it ain’t worth a damn to her for you to call her all day long and complain about someone doing their job.   Which you clearly say I wasn’t if you let me go. 
The other guy in the office, he would say, you are not a woman. you are a man. you want respect.  I didn’t work with him.  Maybe that is why his co-worker decided to take a leave of absence.  She didn’t want to deal with him either.  How do you work with someone like that?  I talked to him off and on.  Don’t believe I would want to work for him permanently either.  Not that company either.  Not A either.  In fact, not any of the companies I worked for do I want to work for again.  I want to move forward not back wards and a higher salary.  But I called some and they weren’t hiring.  And that man actually suggested I go back to work for someone.  I think he should have his head examined. I can’t work for that office.   
You know what is funny- I saw an office that I worked for had a different office in Hackensack.  Didn’t know they had it.  They moved around a lot.   What used to crack me up was they were like you talk to him. what the hell for?  I  can’t stand talking to him.  He doesn’t react any different with me than with you.  So you talk to him.  He stayed the hell away from me for a long while.  I liked that. I didn’t have to talk to him.
Okay-enough of that.  On to different things:  last night no offense my f smelled like he peed all over himself.  It was the worst smell in the world.  He just went to the doctor.  I meant to ask him today.  I haven’t yet.  Then I have to go to city hall.  I didn’t go yet.  
I have the shakes.  I hate that.  My head.  I have to go to the hospital or a center for the MRI. I have to change some information; and then hand it in; hopefully, it will be okay.  I want to go out and visit.  But I don’t know where they are.  I have to ask.  You think they will be available.  I have to go back outside for something.  I hope they are available.


My head is killing me.  Not that you want to know that.  I am sure you do not. 


I am upset that I am not working.   I want to make money and have some for myself. 


I don’t know why he is talking to me.  It is a little weird off and on.  I sometimes wonder if he has an undermining intention. 


Okay-so I don’t know what to do tomorrow.  I won’t be working.  And I don’t have money. I am going towards the office if it is open and I am going towards the hospital too.  After that I don’t know what to do.  I was thinking of taking some money and taking a train somewhere.  Don’t know.  I don’t have money to go far.  I want to spend the night away.  I think I might do that.  Someplace nice.


I don’t know what to say to him.  I don’t think we are friends anymore.  I don’t know that we are enemies.  I am not sure what you would call this whatever it is.  It isn’t a friendship nor is it an adversarial relationship. 


I think I am done for now.  Maybe more later. 


Until then.


 Nov. 5th:  see next entry.

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