The games people play- that is a good description of what i am about to talk about. i am in the mood to type. i am not supposed to because people take what i say out of context and read what i say. i get paranoid. i still think i need an attorney though for what i write. i asked / as she is an attorney. i think for writing about where i used to work is a good idea. and they are talking in my body and pissing me off today. i am ready to take it out. i don’t like it in there. i don’t know how people survive with it in there. i mean where’s the privacy. i don’t like it at all. i am hoping to take it out. why you would want it in there i don’t know. what is its purpose? this lady said because she isn’t family. to some but to her family she is family. i don’t understand that.
anyuway back to the games people play- be it relationships or be it work we all have witnessed people playing games. I met this guy once who could run this sweet game like you wouldn’t believe. He had a wife whom he loved. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. But his friends didn’t like her. They tried to get in between their relationship. Anyway, the reason for this story is that he told me a story about how he had a run in with an old friend who tried to get in between them. The point of the story he said was so that he could explain why he was as he was. I wonder if he is still with his wife. I don’t know.
I am tired of people telling me they aren’t interested in having sex with me. I get the point. I am not trying to sleep with someone who doesn’t want me. I am not trying to sleep with them either. I am looking for friendship and companionship. I don’t think they get that. Besides you know what that makes you feel like? Shit. It makes you feel like shit and no one should make you feel like that. Shit that is. It happens to me all the time no matter who I deal with and that is male or female. Just because I was celibate doesn’t mean you should treat me like shit.
I would like to go out of the state, country, continent. Am I going to get it? I am not though. Unless of course they love me and you want the truth- they want me to jump out a window, dive down in a splat, splatter my brains all across kingdom I got feelings and I don’t want to have to be pissed off every time you don’t get that your annoying me by doing what you are doing.
I don’t like some people. he gives me the creeps after a while and he shouldn’t. he says you don’t know what your talking about. but what i am talking about is he can’t be a parent its too late. if he was one earlier then it would be okay but he can’t do it now. its too late. I don’t want to stay where i am not wanted. so i am going out and hopefully i will find a place to hang out for the night. i am also going towards church. the person i am saying can’t be a parent is the one we all know as the one who never spent any time at home, who let the other parent raise their children and now wants to be a parent.
they don’t want me around because they think i didn’t want to learn what they were trying to teach me which was how the other half lived in their own culture and society. if you were trying to teach me to be me i am already me and didn’t need to be remade. I think it is an insult to think you can make somoene better. And if you know what i am talking about then you are well aware that i don’t like what you are. or who you are for that matter.
You get to work, you learn. You meet people and learn their culture particularly if you are interested. but to tell someone that you don’t like them for being what, a certain age, a certain sex, a certain job or a certain anything- then you don’t like that person. you can’t do that. it is wrong. not only is it wrong, it is inhumane. do you want to be inhumane and a man or woman on their way to jail?
I want you to get out of my body. What does that mean- it means do not talk inside me no more. I don’t like it. If you must talk, then use a real telephone not in my body and if you don’ t know its there, then when you hear a voice say get out, then by God, just get out. Then find out who it is and go apologize. For real. I wanted to talk to this guy but I can’t. He hates me right now. You know why? Cause he calls me the wrong name and pisses me off every time. And he doesn’t seem to care. I try not to call him anything because I don’t know his real name. so hey you as rude as it is is appropriate.
i got to go now. I be back later to finish and edit. so don’t read.