Why I Write and Think Its Bad to Publish

I am working on a book of poems and other writings.  The two companies I have contacted are self publsihg companies and seem to be helpful.  I told them I am really not in a position until January.  Possibly before if I get money.  I hope to do that even if I am not living at home.  MOre and more I think I will not be here.  I will be living somewher else. Hopefully a safe place and not one where I fear bad things will happen.  I have seen what it does to people.  Anyway, I have written some poetry that I am not sure I should publish.  It isn’t really poetry but more prose or train of thought of monlologyes . I am not sure what you would categorize it as.  I don’t think that it will be good to publish.  I don’t think people will like it at all.  I have time to write some more. I thkn I will do that.  I have it out to see what they like and don’t like.  But I don’t know.  I have to go talk to someone about their offer to volunteer.  even though I need a paying job.  but i haven’t gotten what i wanted yet.
aside from that it appears i have someone who might be interested.  the problem is that i don’t believe that its mutual what he wants.  i dont’ want to sleep with him as in have sex.  we could be friends.  not attracted like that. i can get to know him. that isn’t a problem.  anywya back to the issue at hand.
i have an idea that people would be offended by the poetry.  i am not talking about anyone in particular but i am paranoid enough to think they would believe that.  i have to work on them.  i hope they are good.
i don’t have mucn to say.  i am going out to visit some people. and i want to go to the town festival.  i can hide out there somewhere.  don’t know where yet.  but i will find a place. 
ok.  gotta go.  bye.

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