How are you? I am back. I am writing because I have something to say about name calling. I do it at times and I have to watch it becaues I find myself doing it more often than I should. For instance today as I was thinking to myself about an incident that happened on the train one day, I called this man, I don’t know who it was an asshole. I use the word sometimes. I think I use bitch or shit more often. Excuse if the language is foul. But as I stated earlier, you have ot watch what you say. Now I was talking to myself which I do quite often. If I am busy I tend not to do it so often and if I am happy I tend to do it not so often but today I was. Not because I was unhappy but because I happened to be thinking. The situation was that this guy was very rude to someone he had been talking too. He called him an asshole. I probably thought he was the asshole because he was rude. They were probably discussing work and/or personal business. I don’t remember. The point of this blog I guess is that people tend to think that when I talk to myself I am talking to them. I do it too if someone is talking to themselves around me. So I understand. That is something I have to watch out for. Also, I think that you have to be in a bad mood. I had a couple of old bosses who I thought were assholes. I don’t know if they knew that. THey probably did. For instance, I had this one boss who while I didn’t mind working for them, yelled at me for doing the right thing. He apologized later but I still think he was an asshole for doing it. Not only did he say that I was wrong but then he tried to call me to task for doing what he assigned me to do. One of my co-workers explained to me that if he was wrong he would apologize.
Which he did, he apologized. But it still hurt me because I was doing what I was assigned to do.
I hate it when it happens that I get so angry I cry. That happens all the time to me. I can’t figure out how to stop it. So I cry when I am upset and I cry when I am angry. You really do not want to know this.
I want to keep occupied. I think I will start candystriping again. A couple of hours a day. Or if I can’t candy stripe I will find something else to occupy me outside of the home. I wish I could go to someplace else and work or be busy. Or spend time at someone else’s house for an hour or two and have a good conversation. Like that breakfast in the morning mystery club. You could eat and read a mystery and then have a conversation afterwards.
I have been talking on and off to someone who I don’t know very well. We talk off and on. I also hear this little baby I believe. S/he cries a lot. They seem unhappy and then whoever is their with them seems to calm them down. I talk or sing. I think singing is better than talking but I don’t think it works very well. Anyway, this person I talk to, its a guy. THere is a lady too. But this guy seems to wax hot and cold. Some days are better than others. He is worse than me. I do that too. The lady is more even keel. You are either in her good graces or you aren’t. I think he is tempermental. So I haven’t talked to him for a while. I think it is by accident when it happens. I think he is wanting to get someone else but he’ll talk to me. I entertain him. Sometimes that is not a good thing though. But he’s nice. I think. I don’t know him very well. Wouldn’t mind getting to know him. I need friends. The same for the lady. She seems to be busy but at times will take time out and talk to me. I think her time is dependent upon whether or not she is doing a project or not.
Okay, this can become a run on blog entry because I have a lot of stuff I want to talk about but none of it of interest to most people but me. If you have any questions you can email me back.