Names and Things

How are you?  I am back.  I am writing because I have something to say about name calling.  I do it at times and I have to watch it becaues I find myself doing it more often than I should.  For instance today as I was thinking to myself about an incident that happened on the train one day, I called this man, I don’t know who it was an asshole.  I use the word sometimes.  I think I use bitch or shit more often.  Excuse if the language is foul.  But as I stated earlier, you have ot watch what you say.  Now I was talking to myself which I do quite often.  If I am busy I tend not to do it so often and if I am happy I tend to do it not so often but today I was. Not because I was unhappy but because I happened to be thinking. The situation was that this guy was very rude to someone he had been talking too.  He called him an asshole.  I probably thought he was the asshole because he was rude. They were probably discussing work and/or personal business.  I don’t remember.  The point of this blog I guess is that people tend to think that when  I talk to myself I am talking to them. I do it too if someone is talking to themselves around me.  So I understand. That is something I have to watch out for.  Also, I think that you have to be in a bad mood.  I had a couple of old bosses who I thought were assholes.  I don’t know if they knew that.  THey probably did.  For instance, I had this one boss who while I didn’t mind working for them, yelled at me for doing the right thing.  He apologized later but I still think he was an asshole for doing it.  Not only did he say that I was wrong but then he tried to call me to task for doing what he assigned me to do.  One of my co-workers explained to me that if he was wrong he would apologize.
Which he did, he apologized.  But it still hurt me because I was doing what I was assigned to do.
I hate it when it happens that I get so angry I cry.  That happens all the time to me.  I can’t figure out how to stop it.  So I cry when I am upset and I cry when I am angry.  You really do not want to know this. 
I want to keep occupied.  I think I will start candystriping again.  A couple of hours a day.  Or if I can’t candy stripe I will find something else to occupy me outside of the home.  I wish I could go to someplace else and work or be busy.  Or spend time at someone else’s house for an hour or two and have a good conversation.  Like that breakfast in the morning mystery club.  You could eat and read a mystery and then have a conversation afterwards. 
I have been talking on and off to someone who I don’t know very well. We talk off and on.  I also hear this little baby I believe. S/he cries a lot.  They seem unhappy and then whoever is their with them seems to calm them down.  I talk or sing.  I think singing is better than talking but I don’t think it works very well.  Anyway, this person I talk to, its a guy. THere is a lady too.  But this guy seems to wax hot and cold.  Some days are better than others.  He is worse than me.  I do that too.  The lady is more even keel.  You are either in her good graces or you aren’t.  I think he is tempermental.  So I haven’t talked to him for a while.  I think it is by accident when it happens.  I think he is wanting to get someone else but he’ll talk to me.  I entertain him.  Sometimes that is not a good thing though. But he’s nice.  I think.  I don’t know him very well.  Wouldn’t mind getting to know him.  I need friends.  The same for the lady.  She seems to be busy but at times will take time out and talk to me. I think her time is dependent upon whether or not she is doing a project or not.
Okay, this can become a run on blog entry because I have a lot of stuff I want to talk about but none of it of interest to most people but me.  If you have any questions you can email me back.

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